Let It Be Done Unto Me

The sun rose,
I was in my cave
Just like everybody.
My face don't stand out;
I am not special

Then Gabriel came and greeted me.
He placed into my heart
A burning coal.
And I was on fire.

I enjoyed the fire;
I could even breath flames!
Gabriel placed more coal.
I was consumed.

Like a log rolling down the mountain,
so my soul started journeying-
only upwards,
continuously.

My spirit was flying,
I thought I had wings
Only to realize I was crawling
my way to top.

And I thought,
"Who cares if I crawl?"
The coal fueled my soul
I want to reach the top.

And there were sharp stones along my way.
I was wounded but still strove
But my soul soon grew tired.
I looked at the souls above me
and wondered,
"Why not now?"

I tried crawling faster.
I tried using my legs.
I tried using my arms.
"How long shall I wait?
How long shall I suffer?"

I gave up.

Then my soul became a log
Rolling down the mountain
This time it's really going down.
It was stormy, it was very dark.
I thought I'm dying.

I placed a veil upon my face
And struggled to go up.
Only to find greater rocks
Ready to crush me.
I became a Zechariah
and no longer believed.

And I bathed my wounds
With my bitter tears.
I was in deep pain
yet I asked for more pain.

I started to pity myself
And hit myself with sharp rocks
Then Gabriel came to my rescue
And talked to me with strong words,
like the whirlwind.

"It's not good
that you spend your night in crying"
But I didn't listen
and cried a river of sorrows.

"With God, nothing is impossible."
Then Gabriel placed hot coal into my heart.
I experienced tremendous power.
"The Lord is with you," he smiled at me.

Then, gently, he carried me,
And with his wings we flew
Up, up, towards the teal sky
I closed my eyes to feel the wind upon my face.
Then Gabriel was gone.

And I saw myself on God's palm;
He's lifting me up!
Joy invaded my soul,
Then I rested.

The sun was shining so bright
Yet it wasn't very hurting.
Little clouds came to sing me lullabies.
This is paradise.

And the Lord whispered, "My child, wake up."
I saw the heavens open.
From the gate I saw lots of angels flying.
The angels filled the skies.

The Lord said, "Look down."
Then I saw that the tears I've shed
became the waters for the thirsty deer.
Then I looked heavenwards.

I entered the gate.
I closed my eyes.
He mumbled,
"Our home."

09/19/10

Few More Days

Mary, Help of Christians, pray for us.

Fiat Voluntas Tua

The Franciscan Crown Rosary that I made last Easter

Since I went home after a month of being away from it, I've been busy doing almost nothing.

I've been online almost non-stop. I feel a little guilty about this, I admit, but in few days I will start being offline for a long time.

I am wondering, and I always does, what's going to happen a year after now. I am curious what is going to happen in 3 months, or in 6 months. Will I still be alive that time? Who will be me then? Where will I be?

When I was bit younger, I sometimes think that I have attained a high degree of maturity (yeah, I know I'm proud). But when things started to go differently to what I have planned, when I started to realize that I have limitations, that I have failures, I understood that I haven't really attained a high degree of maturity, that there's always a room for growth for me, that I am little.With these realizations, I started to look forward to my future with excitement. I know the Good Lord has a lot of good things in store for me. I am like a little kid who is very excited to unwrap his Christmas present.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. Nobody knows except God (and yeah, that May 21 Judgment day is not true.). The thought of having an uncertain future is worrisome to me. That is why I pray that I will persevere, not in pursuing my own plans, but in doing what the Good Lord wants from me. Fiat voluntas Tua.

I am plunging into the unknown. It takes a lot of courage, and the courage that I "have" is not mine. It's a grace, it's a gift from the Good Lord. I have nothing with me as I plunge, but my faith which I am trying to ignite into flames.

Fiat voluntas Tua. Thy Will be done. This is my prayer for today.

Don't Look Back

And [Lot's wife] looking behind her, was turned into a statue of salt. (Gen 19:26)

Random Thoughts. Again.

I took a nap this afternoon and I woke up but I cannot open my eyes. My head ached so badly. Probably too much internet?

And I think I am also guilty of too much coffee.

and of too much sleep.

and of too much music (hey, Sound Cloud got a lot of nice original songs).

(and now for another random thought, I'm going to choose a picture published here at my blog)

Ah, the kids from the oratory! You might have read my post about my involvement with the oratory apostolate of the Religious of the Incarnate Word. They had a summer camp last month and it seems they loved it! I was told that they swam all day at the beach.

I wonder how they are right now. Will those who do not go to school start attending their first classes this June?

Working for them made me realize the beauty of married and family life. It would be so awesome to watch this kids grow up into beautiful persons. Probably that girl at the right would become a doctor? Or maybe that young boy in blue sando become an engineer? It would be really cool if that little boy in red would become the first Filipino on moon. That girl in white, whose face we cannot see, might become a cloistered nun (she's already practicing anonymity). We'll never know!

Wow. It feels so good to dream and to believe.

Surfin All Day

So I didn't notice that I was in front of the monitor for almost a whole day. I just didn't notice the time passing by. I was just waiting for the beatification of Blessed John Paul 2 which started like four hours ago.

I was with my cool phriends, and my perseverance in front of the computer just proved that I am ready for my profession as a Phatmass Phriar of Perpetual Chat (it's a Phatmass thing, you know.)

I gotta thank Phatmass.com a lot. On June 8, I would making my 3rd year anniversary as a member (LOL!).

Really, really, thank you Phatmass. You're amesome!

For more information about Phatmass.com, click here.

May 1st

I am waiting for the beatification of Pope John Paul II. I was informed that it would be in two hours.

I was watching a show, a sort of documentary, at EWTN about his life. I didn't know he had to go to an underground seminary, and hide while studying during forced labor hours. My, life back then was really harsh.

Blessed John Paul the Great, pray for us.

The two extremes are somehow opposed to his beatification. I wouldn't be surprised if they would start nominating themselves for the Chair of Saint Peter.. or start their own church, gather their relatives and start their own papal conclaves.

But as for me, I am happy that he would be beatified in TWO HOURS!

God bless you!