Friday, July 9, 2010

Holy Darkness

Friday is here again, and I didn't realize it until I looked at the calendar. I see this as a sign that I am enjoying what I am doing.

I am still in "solitude among people" but it has taken a new, entirely different meaning to me right now. One former classmate told me, "You're always alone!" 

Well I said, I am enjoying my solitude.

Then I paused for a while, and realized that maybe most of the time I am in solitude, but I am never alone. Yes, I am right, solitude has taken a new meaning to me. It's not dark in here anymore!

I have made a good bunch of friends this week, although I don't see them most of the day because of differences in schedule. My heart was just filled with happiness the moment I became aware that they are really my friends. I think you know how it feels when you just can't stop smiling.

I am not alone, knowing that my friends are just scattered around the campus.

But I just can't get along with some people who always wear their good frowning face. What have I done? To be honest, they cast darkness on my joy-filled heart. I hate it when my good mood is destroyed. I would just like to frown on them too. I just want to show them my disappointment.

Then I read The Imitation of Christ, and it was very fitting: You must be as ready to suffer as to rejoice (Book 3, Chapter 17). Then, I remember Mt 5:39 "Turn the other cheek" and immediately I received the "mandate" to be obedient to death, even if that death means death on the cross (Philippians 2:8). Lord, I will not disobey.

I am not alone. I might be in solitude most of the time, but that's a different thing. It's being alone with the Alone.

I am always at home, and alone with the Alone.

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